once again.

Once again..its 6am...and I havent slept yet. siiiiggh. T and I had a small fight tonight.. basically I was upset that he hadnt called..he got pissed off at me.. then he called at like 11 to apologize and we talked it out.. hes really stressed and I know he is.. and I'm just pmsing and not sleeping so right now sucks. He apparently found out he could be leaving as soon as 5 months. which is like right around my bday/our 3 year. hmp.

I thought about driving down there this weekend, then I remembered...oh wait.. hes going into the field for a week on thursday..which means..no contact for a week. sigggggh. I love him.

He told me tonight that he told me it would be hard and it he wouldnt blame me if I left him... well I told him I would never leave and I'm not going to.

Hes mentioned getting married before he deployed a few times.. idk if he was serious or not.. I would like to.. at least sign the papers and I can plan the wedding while he is gone.

There is so much going through my mind, I just wish I could sleep. I'm exhausted and damn near in tears. this sucks.

xo